OPINION: Let me tell you what Buhari was thinking of, while he waited to deliver his budget speech! By Buchi Obichie

macfranc007 November 10, 2017 Nigeria News today & Breaking news ▷ Read Nigerian newspapers 24/7 Buchi Obichie

Editor’s note: The writer, Buchi Obichie, has penned a somewhat satirical piece about what she imagined were the thoughts running through the mind of President Muhammadu Buhari as he waited to be called to deliver his speech on the 2018 budget.

My mum used to say to my eldest brother while we were growing up: “Ekwe, uneasy lays the head that wear the crown.”

She said this to him to constantly remind him of the responsibilities that came with the position of being the first born and oldest sibling to the rest of us; and resounded the words so frequently, that my brother would literally cringe and become agitated as he heard it over and over again.

As I was watching the recent presentation of the 2018 budget to the National Assembly by President Muhammadu Buhari, I couldn’t help but notice the seeming apprehension on the face of the president as he listened to the speech of Senate President Bukola Saraki; and I remembered my mother’s words again.

I wondered what was running through the mind of the president as he waited his turn to speak, then I smiled to myself as I imagined a plethora of thoughts the man could have been having at that exact moment.

Opinion: Let me tell you what Buhari was thinking of, while he waited to deliver his budget speech! By Buchi Obichie

President Muhammadu Buhari pictured delivering his speech on the 2018 budget (Photo credit: CKN Nigeria)

I imagined that as the president looked into the crowd of lawmakers, he was wondering which one of them was scheming to take his seat in due time- those who sat before him, or the two men who watched him closely from their high chairs behind?

Then he would have wondered which one of the two was more ambitious- the one on the red chair, or the one on the green chair?

The president must have looked at the face of his party chairman who sat in the crowd, and thought to himself: “All the clean-up I have to do because of this man! All the bickering within our camp over his position!”

What if the president had seen the face of Ben Bruce or Dino Melaye? Ahhh, the usual suspects. He must have thought, “Who knows what that ‘yellow pawpaw’ would tweet about when I’m done- common sense indeed!- or what that black one would whisper in the ears of his best friend behind me, after I leave!”

But then, I imagined that President Buhari must have had a moment to smile to himself as he noticed the face of the vice president sitting calmly in front. Ahhh, he must have thought “Oh, there’s my bright spot…my most loyal foot soldier Yemi…bless Allah for little mercies!”

But then, i noticed a slight twitch, and I imagined that the president must have been jolted out of his brief moment of euphoria, by thoughts that transcended beyond the walls of NASS.

Did he think to himself, “I hope I don’t have a slight cold tonight; because if that happens, I cannot visit that State House Clinic…not after Aisha and Zahra have raised hell over the poor state of that facility…haaa, i cannot ‘come and kill myself 'oh"?

Speaking about Madam Aisha, I wondered if the president was thinking about what she was cooking for dinner, or wondering about her next ‘subject of concern’…“God help the object of her anger,” he must have thought!

But then, there was so little time to focus on his wife; Saraki was rounding up his speech, and the president must have had to hurry through his thoughts.

Did he spare a moment for Maina? I wondered.

That troublemaker who stirred the pot and managed to muddy his impeccable image before the public!

Maybe he would have thought, “I need to speak with Malami and Abba about this issue…Malami probably knows more than he's telling, Abba is always in the mix of things, and Magu doesn’t seem to know very much!”

Just then Saraki must have begun calling on Mr President to come to the podium; but I know our darling president couldn’t have rushed off to speak, without sparing a thought for us.

Did he think to himself, “How many of my long-suffering people are going to bed hungry tonight because they have no food and are still being owed by those state governors, even after I gave them bail-outs?”

Maybe he thought: “See the opulence that permeates from within these walls; yet, beyond this place, the people who these folks represent are saddled with the unwanted burden of poverty!”

Maybe he would have thought on a final note: “I wonder when the patience of these Nigerians would wear thin!”

But then, Baba was brought back to reality as he heard the applause, urging him on towards the podium to deliver his speech.

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What was his final thought as he took those short steps, I thought? “Ahhh, that Bobrisky fellow…up and down the gram and now he has gotten himself in trouble…and I must hear about it because my staff thinks I need to stay informed about all issues of ‘national importance’…oh well, at least he makes the people forget about their anger towards all of us here for a while!”

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